Why have I chosen to live a more spiritual life? In some ways, I have not chosen to do so at all. In many ways, I have been forced to find a home in another "reality" and build a spiritual framework for it, because I feel too hurt and abandoned for any normal relief. I felt alienated, and there was no door back to a normal life, so my mind had to find a new home just to survive. The new home materialized slowly over time, but its progress pivoted on a few key moments when the idea suddenly became clearer as a reality. I kept on. I've now been living in it for over a year. It has already survived several storms, and so it's clearly real. I have not forgotten my old homes; I get sad over their loss still, but I don't let nostalgia paper over that they never even felt real anyway. My new home requires a great deal of upkeep and refinement, and I don't think it'll ever be complete. But my work now is not just always about the next kitchen upgrade. My work is with its frame and foundation, maintenance and strengthening. What amazes me is that my new home feels like a genuinely secure and comfortable one, real and right, and I enjoy the work I need to put into it.
— Gabriel Fenteany, October 5, 2015
